I’ve put together many portfolios in my life time, for various reasons. No matter what, I’ve never felt happy with what I had to share. To me it felt like my failings and lack of skill dominated my work. It just wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough.
It’s different this time.
This time I feel pride in my work, in what I have to share, in what I’ve made. Its a wonderful feeling, and I can’t wait to publish this to share with the world.
There are probably a couple of factors going into this experience, a major part being that I have been treating my mental illnesses. Nothing like actually having the ability to like yourself to allow you to like your work! Also, the tools I’ve been working with in the digital realm finally caught up to my skill in the physical realm. Seriously, getting a tablet I could see what I was drawing on made a huge difference, and the apple pen was a game changer. It finally really felt like I was DRAWING on my screen. (I’m very tactile, this matters.)
HOWEVER: the other factors shouldn’t be overlooked: During 2020 I spent a helluva lot of quarantine time drawing and putting together designs. I let myself draw subjects that I loved, enjoy the process, and actually finish the work. I always want to try new things and test out techniques, but I focused and limited myself for each piece: This is the style. This is technique.
In short, I treated myself and my work with the respect I deserve going into the process, not just looking to see if I earned it by the end.
And I am so happy with what I’ve created. I can’t wait to share.
MCM Creative 